Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Taste We Have None

When all that is left is lashing out
When you're already juggling misery and discontent
When you're dreams are a stab wound

I did this for you.

Please take away my speech and my hearing
Please take my site and my taste
Please take the feelings as they spill

Leave me in the cracks.

And 28 years have come and nearly gone
And sadly I've nothing much to show of them
And if I live another day and another day

Just let me have it real.

Lift these empty spirits.  Bring the real clarity.  Cut right to the point.  Give me the bleeding edge.  Let me take the burdens on.  Patience, Knowledge, understanding, wisdom,... love.  

Forgive me a wretched man.



Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The eve of the Next

We sit poised in history for the next leap.  I can feel it.  Better yet, I know it is coming.  There are many times these days when I wish I could be free from this zoo.  I am bombarded by this world media and culture at a rapid rate on a daily basis.  Internet, radio, television, cell phone.  What did we used to do?  How did we used to connect to each other.  We are spending, I am spending, too much time entertaining myself.  My routine is suffocating.  What is it that drives this on each day?  What keeps me going through these motions?  Wake up at 6:30 AM, lay in bed until about 6:35 AM.  Urinate, take a shower, dry off.  Put on deodorant and go to closet.  Examine which shirt and tie to put on, put them on, put pants on.  Brush teeth.  Put on wedding ring, put wallet in back right pocket.  Find keys in the same place you always leave them.  Put keys on counter, put shoes, put on coat.  Make sure heater and lights are turned off before closing door.  Lock door and walk to car.  Start car and turn on AM radio or CD player.  Drive to work on the 94.  Get to work around 7:30 AM.  Clock in to work by 7:40 AM.  Eat granola bar for breakfast at or around 10 AM.  continue working.  Eat lunch around 1 or 2 PM.  Continue working.  Clock out from work once 8 Hours have been reached, usually around 5 PM.  Log out of computers, gather cell phone.  Put on coat and ride elevator to the 2nd floor.  Walk to car and.  Leave parking garage and wave goodbye to friendly parking garage attendant who always opens the gate for you so you don't have to roll your window down and use the key.  Pull out left and proceed to the 94 to head home.  Drive home and arrive there around 5:45 or 6... maybe earlier depending on day.  Pull into parking garage and turn off car.  Lock doors and proceed to apartment.  Unlock door, enter, lock door.  Take off  shoes and put near other shoes.  Hang up coat.  Say hi to wife and hug.  change out of work clothes into something else.  take a piss.  talk with wife about our days... my day?  Poop.  Eat dinner.  Depending on what day it is wife might have tv show to watch.  I might play guitar.   I might play a video game.  If we are really feeling adventurous maybe we go out to eat.  Spend time with wife until bed time. Go to bed and repeat until weekend.  Is this all?  There has to be something wrong with me!  I can do more than this..... please, let me do more than this in this life.